journalists!! your under’salt’ed headline woes solved!!

Hello journalists and copy editors! Right now, you may be gritting your teeth, sweat pouring down your brow, panic setting in steadily, and we at Vykromond Enterprises know why: you’re down to the wire with your review, interview, feature, or blog post about Salt, the Angelina Jolie-starring summer political action blockbuster, and you don’t have any clever salt-themed wordplay to use for a headline!

We can help.

You thought this would be a cinch. It’s salt, after all- a short, common word with a meaning everyone with any English language proficiency already understands. But then you unexpectedly hit a bout of writer’s block the first time you sat down to hammer out a headline or title, and next thing you knew reviews and sneak previews were already going live, stealing all the good material. Does the following accurately summarize your thoughts this morning? We suspect it does.

Curse you, Chicago Tribune, for taking “perfect with popcorn!” Damn you, HollywoodReporter.com, for snatching up “worth its salt,” and last Friday too so you could get ahead of the curve! New York Observer, you were not even trying with “Angelina Jolie puts the pepper in ‘Salt'” and you know it, so I am ashamed of you, but YOU COULD AT LEAST HAVE LEFT THAT ONE FOR US LATECOMERS.

Not far off?

Salt shakers! “Low on spice!” Blood pressure! Even the simple adjective “flavorful.” Nothing left to write without getting accused of uncreativity and plagiarism, you think! And yet to publish without a title-related joke… unthinkable.

Vykromond Enterprises are pioneers in the fast-growing field of “multi-vertical personal search-optimized journalism title generation” (MVP-SEO-JTG) and are rolling out a “pilot series” of sample titles and headers to coincide with the release of Salt. These titles are copyrighted but free to use for clients who contact Vykromond Enterprises for distribution rights and blog/article/review title consulting. Our title technicians have pre-formatted and styled some of these samples to fit right into your publication’s house manner- see if you can identify the title that our internal algorithms indicate is just right for you!

‘Salt’ The Earth

Though packed full of special effects saltpeter, Angelina Jolie’s new film is a lot of salt and fury, signifying nothing…

An all out as’salt’ on the senses

The delightful new Salt goes over the top while tickling the imagination

In-‘Salt’-ing

The traditional media is celebrating ‘Salt’ as a feminist coup. Why?


SAL”T” PARADISE WAS RIGHT!

Angelina’s new movie PROVES that she and Brad are having “SUCH A SAD TIME TOGETHER” (PICS) (MORE)

Salt of the Earth ‘Salt’ More to Audiences’ Tastes Than Rarefied ‘Inception’

Published: July 23, 2010

With the weekend take of new Angelina Jolie vehicle “Salt” expected to trump…

Meur’salt’ by any other name: Commonalities in Western views of sociopathy in literature and film from Camus to Jolie. (2010)


Angelina Jolie Found On Mars!

Not really, it’s just regular old salt deposits, not ‘Salt’ deposits, found through orbital photography conducted by NASA this past week. But as you know, ScienceBlogs has been having some traffic issues, and so we went for it…

Saltrsaparilla

Please email PR@vykromond.com for licensing any of these samples or future titling/branding opportunities.

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